To Belong

We all have an innate desire to belong. Whether directed towards a family, community or just one person, the desire for belonging can be a powerful force. This is because we were made for fellowship. God designed us to need one another, but if we seek to satisfy our desire to belong apart from a relationship with God, we will never be satisfied.

To feel the bond of belonging to someone or even to a group of someones is the among the most wonderful experiences of the heart, and yet, this side of heaven that feeling is fleeting at best. We are sinful creatures clinging to other sinful creatures, expecting them to supply us with stability, acceptance, approval, and love.

But no one on earth can supply those things perfectly or completely, and we are left feeling empty again. To try to fill up the empty places in our hearts with human affection is like pouring water into a strainer and expecting it to stay full.

The only way to truly satisfy our hearts is to fill them with the love of God. To the aching of our hearts, God replies "I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto Myself; that where I am, there ye may be also." (John 14:2-3)

Jesus came, died, rose, and ascended for one purpose: to make it possible for us to be with Him. He loves us more than anyone else could begin to love us, and He desires fellowship with us. That place He is preparing will be glorious, and it will be a place of fellowship.

When God allowed John to record what that place would be like, He began by announcing, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself shall be with them, and be their God" (Revelation 21:3)

The whole point of heaven is that we will be with the God to whom we belong. Our hearts ache here on earth because this is not our final destination. We are strangers and pilgrims in this world. (I Peter 2:11)

"For we know that if our earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God, and house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this we groan, earnestly desiring to be clothed upon with our house which is from heaven" (2 Corinthians 5:1-2)

Our hearts ache to belong, not just to our earthly homes and families, but to our final, perfect, heavenly home, where we will be forever with the Heavenly Father to whom we most wonderfully belong. That ache in our hearts is meant to draw us into closer fellowship with God now, looking forward to an eternity of "in-person" fellowship with Him.

To be Approved

I'm a pleaser. It's how God has wired me, and that innate desire to please the people around me can be a strength, but it can also be a weakness. Instead of seeking to please God by serving others, my focus can easily shift to seeking to please others to gain their approval or love.

It might not seem that big of a deal to try to please others, after all, isn't that an unselfish thing to do?

Actually, the pursuit of approval is completely self-motivated. It is driven by a feeling of emptiness, a desire for the fulfillment that comes when the other person is pleased with us and demonstrates love or acceptance. It makes us feel good, and we naturally want more love, more approval, more acceptance.

This can be very dangerous, however, and God takes the matter seriously. Remember Ananias and Sapphira? Their story is found in Acts 5:1-11. This couple sold a piece of land, and then lied, pretending to give the whole price, when in fact, they were only giving part. They wanted to look like they were being piously generous, but in reality, they were being stingy.  Still, they had a choice. As Peter points out, the land was theirs, the money was theirs, and the choice of what to do with both was theirs. They were not required to give all, so why did they pretend to?

Because they wanted approval.

They wanted the believers in their community to think well of them. Others had done similarly with their land, and no doubt were thought well of for their generosity and dedication to Christ. Selling the land and being seen to give the whole price to the church certainly would have seemed like a good way to gain approval, but they were not acting from a Spirit-led heart. They were acting in self-interest, and not only did it cost them the opinion of the church, it cost them their very lives. God knew their duplicity and put a stop to it there and then.

When we seek to have our longing for approval filled by others, whether it be our peers, parents, bosses, pastors, teachers, or anyone else, we will be easily led into sin. This is why peer pressure works. People want to be approved, thought well of, and liked, and so they will do and say things they never would have done or said otherwise in order to impress.

The problem is, other people can never fill that empty part of our heart that cries out for acceptance, love, and approval. That emptiness exists so God can fill it. Only God can truly satisfy our need for love and approval, only God can give us the fullness of being accepted.

People change. Their approval or acceptance of us, even their love is dependent on what we do. God's approval and acceptance are based first and foremost on what Christ has already done. It is Christ's sacrifice that makes available to us God's acceptance of us.

Ephesians 1:6 says that through Christ we are "accepted in the beloved". For the saved, acceptance is already accomplished, once and for all. Jesus said, "him that cometh to Me I will in no wise cast out." (John 6:37) Those who come to Christ will never be rejected by Him. And once we belong to God, nothing can remove us from His hand! (John 10:29)

God's love is also not dependent on our behavior. He has said, "I have loved thee with an everlasting love" (Jeremiah 31:3) and Romans 5:8 reminds us, "But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." He has proved His unconditional love by sacrificing Himself to pay for our sin. I love the way 2 Corinthians 5:21 puts it:

"For He hath made Him to be sin for us, who knew no sin, that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him."

Now, God's love and acceptance are based on Christ's actions, but that does not mean our actions are not important. We have a responsibility to live out the truth of our acceptance before God, and of His love for us. How do we do that? Jesus said, "If ye love Me, keep My commandments" (John 14:15). We show that we love God by obeying. 1 John 2:3 says "And hereby we do know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments." Obviously, obedience is important, because it shows that we have been accepted, that we know God.

We also live out the truth of God's approval by reading and studying the Bible. Timothy is told, "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." (2 Timothy 2:15) We show ourselves to be "approved unto God" by studying and knowing God's Word. The more we know of God through His Word, the more confidently we can serve Him.

Jesus also said, "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." (John 13:34-35) We show the truth of God's love for us by loving others with the same kind of love He has lavished on us. 

All these things we do only show what is on the inside. It is possible to make a show of doing the "right things" outwardly without getting our inward focus right, like Ananias and Sapphira. No one can fix our focus for us. It is a matter of getting alone with God, confessing our wrong focus, and accepting the truth of His love, His acceptance, and His approval of us through Christ.



One passage that helped me recently in this area was Deuteronomy 32:4, part of the song of Moses:

"He is the Rock, His work is perfect: for all His ways are judgement: a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is He."

That was the key for me. I knew all the truths about God's acceptance and approval, but  I had to trust that whether or not I ever gained approval from a certain set of people, God was perfectly just in what He was allowing. It was not until I took the verse apart and applied the truths about God to my specific situation that I really had victory, though.

He is the Rock: unmovable, unchanging, steady, and secure.

His work is perfect: I can trust His working, both in my heart and the hearts of those around me.

for all His ways are judgement: He will only do what is just and right.

a God of truth: Whatever false impression others may have of me, God knows the truth.

and without iniquity: He is good, and this hurt He has allowed will bring good in my life.

just and right is He: I can trust Him.

Whatever other people may think of us, no matter if they approve or disapprove of us, love or hate us, accept or reject us, nothing changes the fact that God has already unalterably approved us in Christ, accepted us as His own, and loved us, before we even came to Him.

"For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8:38-39

A Biblical Response to Feeling Overlooked or Marginalized

This week, I revisited some study notes on the book of Esther, and I got to thinking about Mordecai. (If you need a refresher on who Mordecai was, go read the book of Esther)

 The kings of Persia were known for their liberal generosity to those who showed their loyalty. Mordecai did just that by exposing the plot to assassinate the king, but he was inexplicably not rewarded. He was forgotten, and his great service to the king treated as if it were nothing at all.

Mordecai probably couldn’t help but be stunned at this turn of events. Of course, there is no indication that he had acted merely for reward, but in a situation when one has done something worthy of reward and is overlooked, it can be more than a little bit disappointing.

Perhaps you have felt like that before. I know I have. When something we have done or a skill we possess is worthy of recognition, but is overlooked, it hurts. It doesn’t matter whether it was purposeful or accidental, or whether there were extenuating circumstances or not; it still feels like being personally rejected. In Mordecai’s day, the king’s accidental slight would have been like a slap in the face to a faithful servant. So what did Mordecai do?

He kept on faithfully serving.

He stayed humble and just did what he knew was right, whether or not he was rewarded. There are several other Biblical characters that come to mind when I think of people who would seem like they had a right to feel marginalized or overlooked.

Joseph- He was literally thrown away by his brothers, sold into slavery just because they wanted to get rid of him. Then, after faithfully serving and repeatedly displaying great skill in his work, he was lied about, unjustly imprisoned, and then forgotten.

David- The prophet Samuel, the most important man in Israel at the time, came to visit his family and asked specifically to meet the sons, and David was left out with the sheep.

Jonathan- His father was Israel’s first king. As firstborn son, Jonathan was considered the rightful heir to the throne –until his father disobeyed and God chose a new king.

John the Baptist- Was famous, all sorts of people traveled into the wilderness to hear him preach. Then Jesus came and the crowds began to fade away.

Bartimaeus- Was blind and had to beg for his daily bread. Jesus was well known to be able to heal people, but when Bartimaeus tried to get Jesus’ attention, the crowd told him to be quiet.

Jesus- Came to earth to save mankind from our sins. When he presented himself in His hometown, He was met with anger and rejected.  The people even tried to throw Him off a cliff!

So, what did these people do when faced with being looked down upon, despised, marginalized, forgotten, or rejected? They just kept doing right. Joseph, like Mordecai, kept on serving faithfully. David kept carefully tending the sheep. Jonathan threw all his efforts into promoting David’s eventual reign. John the Baptist said “He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30) Bartimaeus kept calling out for healing, and Jesus quietly, humbly went on to the next city:

“But he passing through the midst of them went his way, And came down to Capernaum, a city of Galilee, and taught them on the sabbath days.” (Luke 4:30-31)

Each of these, and of course the Lord Jesus most of all, serves as an example of how we should face those times when we are overlooked, when our efforts, abilities, or ideas are dismissed, or when we are blatantly rejected. We should keep on, committing ourselves and our “right” to recognition, acceptance, and approval to God. As I Peter 4:19 says:

“Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to Him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.”

We can trust God. And He is faithful. Mordecai was honored, Joseph was promoted and his abilities recognized, David was made king, Jesus ascended to the right hand of the Father and now sits enthroned in glory. --Not all of the situations were turned around. Jonathan and John the Baptist had to wait for heaven to receive their reward, but notice that they were fully content just to serve God and others while they lived. Their eyes were on God's approval, not man's.

God is faithful whether or not we are recognized and accepted by others. No matter how many people reject or overlook us, serving God should be about God. When our focus is right, His approval and recognition not only becomes enough for us; we begin to see that it is all that really matters.

...and a Happy New Year!

It is the very first moments of a brand new year, and I wanted to share this passage from Ephesians 3 with you, for this, dear reader, is my prayer for you in this bright and shining start of a new decade:

"That He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might by His Spirit in the inner man;
That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,
May be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;
And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God"
Ephesians 3:16-19

That is the purpose of this blog: to point your eyes to the fullness of God which really can be yours as you seek Him and learn of Him.

Aren't you glad that God's goodness is not dependent upon our age, status, or stage of life? Wherever you're at, God is the same. He is not the author of emptiness, but of fullness; not of darkness, but of light; not of despair, but of hope. However turbulent the year may prove to be, God remains, and with Him the love and fullness which are always ours in Christ.

"Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, 
Unto Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen."
Ephesians 3:20-21