God is Enough When Alone in a Crowd

The first time I ate alone in a restaurant, I thought I knew what I was walking into.  I was well-prepared with textbooks, notebook, highlighters, pencil, and pen. I had plenty to keep me busy, and as I walked up to the door, I put on my most nonchalant air, as if I did this every day and was completely fine with eating out by myself. I walked in with confidence, but as the waiter left with my order and I opened my textbook, I found myself face-to-face with the acute awkwardness of sitting alone in a room full of people enjoying themselves. 

I did eventually get used to dining out alone, and now I even enjoy it…most of the time.

But then there’s other times, like last Wednesday, when that awkwardness comes flooding in and I find myself feeling alone in the middle of a crowd.

It all started when I decided to try a pasta place a friend had told me about. 

I’ve been searching for a good place to eat dinner before church on Wednesdays ever since the friendly little diner I used to frequent changed hands and became decidedly less friendly. I found this new place all right, and walked up to the door with great anticipation of finding good food and good atmosphere in which to study or write while I eat. As I got closer to the door, I noticed a large sandwich-board sign proclaiming in large and trendy chalk lettering: “Wine Wednesday”. 

Since I don’t drink, the sign had the opposite effect on me from that which was intended. I turned around right there and walked back to my car, disappointed, but still hoping I would still find some hidden gem of a restaurant at which to spend my dinnertime. 

Sadly, I ended up at a rather indifferent chain-diner instead. The music was ear-splittingly loud in the lobby, and not much better in the dining room. The waitress was friendly -in a distant sort of way- but took an unusually long time to come to my table to take my order. As I waited (and waited), I began to notice that the booths around me were full of couples and families talking and laughing, as well as a small group of ladies –one of whom was singing happily along at the top of her lungs to the already obnoxious music. 

Eventually, the waitress came and took my order, and, knowing I very likely had another long wait ahead of me, I reached for my book to try to stave off my feelings of awkwardness. Just then, my phone buzzed with a text from a dear friend, and then a different friend texted, and soon I was enjoying the fellowship of two conversations in addition to the delightful book I was reading. That brightened my dinner exceedingly, and helped to dispel my awkward feelings. 

I think everyone struggles with feeling “alone-in-a-crowd” at some point in their lives, regardless of what stage of life they happen to be in. The truth is, whether single or married, living alone or with a large family, we all experience that longing for fellowship and emotional closeness with the people around us- or just to feel included in their conversations or experiences.

I’ve been reading a book recently by Lysa TerKeurst called: “Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely”. (Book review to come!) 

I don’t know much about the authoress, except that she is a pastor’s wife, and that we differ widely in some areas, (which I fully expect to stem from some sort of doctrinal disagreement) but so far this particular book has been very practical and -most importantly- Biblically sound. One of the chapters deals with this “alone-in-a-crowd” phenomenon, to which I fall prey more often than I would like to admit. One of her statements, however, has helped me enormously. She writes about how we can prepare in advance for such occasions by reminding ourselves,

 “I bring the fullness of God into this place with me. Therefore, I am on assignment to bring His acceptance and love into this place.”

 

This takes the focus off my emotions and puts me into service mode. I am not here to be emotionally coddled or to have my ego stroked so I feel special: I am here to show God’s love to others, drawing from His fullness with which He has filled me. 

I love what she says next:

“This isn’t some legalistic attempt to earn points with God. This is an authentic way to live as someone who knows she is truly loved by God.”[1]

 

One of the best Scriptures for battling emptiness is Ephesians 3:16-19, in which Paul tells the Ephesians that he prays to God:

 “That He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might by His Spirit in the inner man; That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.”

Sometimes, my mind just has to have a good, stern talk with my heart, reminding it of what is true. Being filled with all the fullness of God is not an emotion, it is a fact, just like God’s love for me. Once I remind myself that I am in the season God has chosen for me out of His perfect and loving wisdom, once I choose (yet again) to accept the grace He offers me to find Him enough for every need and every moment, then I can live full, overflowing with God’s fullness, even when societal expectations or my own emotions demand that I ought to feel empty. I can say no to self-focus and self-pity and embrace with my heart the truth which my mind already knows: 

I am never alone, never forgotten -even in a crowd.

---

[1] TerKeurst, Lysa. Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely p. 50

Book Review: Singled Out for Him

So, I never thought myself a "start-a-book-club" sort of person... for one thing, I keep myself quite busy, and for another, the very thought of being out any later than necessary on any given day of the week makes me tired. But recently, the idea occurred that I now have several friends in similar stages of life as myself, and that a book club would not only give us excuses both to read and to spend time together, but that discussing a book we had all read would give us a natural opening for conversation. 

But what to read? I wanted us to read something that would be uplifting and would help us to embrace the season of singleness God had us each in. I had been listening to the Revive our Hearts podcast, and thought it might be good to look at some of their resources as a place to start. I ordered the little book (almost a pamphlet, really) Singled Out for Him, and a quick skimming of the table of contents and a page here and there convinced me that this was indeed the right book to begin our book club with.

What I appreciated the most about this book was the matter-of-fact, no-excuses teaching, but with a compassion that communicated that the writer really did know what single ladies go through. The whole focus of the book was that we need to view singleness as a gift from God, not necessarily in the way people usually think of having "the gift of singleness", but the same way we tend to view marriage as a gift. It is a state of life which God gives because He plans to use it for His glory. Singleness is a season both of opportunity and of responsibility.

-I don't want to say much more, lest I give the whole book away, but I will say that the four of us all agreed that the book was definitely worth reading and full of good, Biblical teaching that touched each of our lives in different ways. 

Labour of Love

I'm at the stage in life where most of my friends are in the season of child rearing, and several of them have quite a few young ones to take care of. 

Whether it's just one or a whole bunch of children, these young mommies have their every moment taken up with thankless tasks which seem at times so very tedious. Their lives are punctuated by another diaper to change, another load of laundry to fold, another meal to prepare, another argument to sort through between siblings, another sick child to care for... and the list could go on and on.

We have similar tedium in teaching, although teachers at least get somewhat of a break once their students have gone home. For us, the day looks like another shoelace to tie, another stack of papers to correct, another question to answer (which you've already answered for the class several times), another makeup test to give that student who was absent, another friendship to mend, another recess injury to patch up... only to get up and begin the cycle over again the next day. 

Tedious work is common to mankind, and I'm sure you could give your own list of tedious chores or tasks. So, since these things are part of life, how does God want us to view them? 

I heard in a sermon this past Sunday that in 1 Thessalonians 1:3, the phrase "labour of love" contains a Greek word which actually means tedious work. Just the mention of word tedious brings to mind certain types of work that I do not enjoy doing, but are nonetheless necessary. The Thessalonians would no doubt have thought of specific tasks when they read the letter from Paul, calling it not just tedious work, but tedious work carried out in love --and it was one of the reasons Paul was so thankful for the believers at Thessalonica. 

"We give thanks to God always for you all, making mention of you in our prayers; Remembering without ceasing your work of faith, and labour of love, and patience of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ, in the sight of God and our Father" 

(1 Thessalonians 1:3-4)

The response of the Thessalonians to the kind of tedious work Paul observed them doing led him to characterize it as a loving endeavor. 

What a difference it would make to our lives if we saw the tedious tasks as gifts, rather than burdens. It would transform each diaper changed, each stack of papers corrected, each shoelace tied, each meal prepared, each load of laundry folded. It would turn each one from an unavoidable annoyance into a precious opportunity to demonstrate the truest kind of love -the same love that God shows us every day- the kind of love that delights to do even the smallest, most thankless task simply for the reason that we are doing it for the one we love. Not only would we have the opportunity of showing love to others countless times in a day, but with each bit of tedium embraced with joy we would demonstrate our love for God as well.  

So what tedium does God want to transform in your life today?

"For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shewed toward His name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister. "

Put it all into Perspective:Focus on the Glory of God

Anyone out there having a rough week?

As the seasons change and November nears, it seems like everyone is prone to feel a bit down or put upon. As the gloomy winter-ish days begin, it can be easy to let our moods be as overcast as the sky.

I was reminded recently by a friend that I am not perfect -and boy, did I agree with that statement! One of my "imperfections" is a propensity to become easily consumed with my feelings and difficulties (real or imagined). If I'm not careful, my own self-focus can become the most influential factor in my thoughts, actions, and decisions. Soon, my world is revolving around my desire to please, comfort, or ease myself of any difficulties.

But that's not what I was made for -and neither were you!

You and I were made for the specific purpose of glorifying God.

Isaiah 43:7 follows a very encouraging passage in which God promises to protect His people whom He had chosen and loved. In the midst of promising to bring them back from "the ends of the earth" (v.6), He makes this statement:

"Even every one that is called by My name: for I have created him for my glory, I have formed him; yea, I have made him." 

Are you a Christian, called by the name of Christ? There is also a New Testament command that shows us the truth of this Old Testament principle. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says quite plainly,

"Whether therefore ye eat or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God" (emphasis mine)

This means that everything we do should bring glory to God.

Everything.

God designed you and me to be the instruments of His glory, and the thought of how we can fulfill this design will touch (and enrich) every area of our lives, if we let it. The following are just a few examples of areas in my own life in which I have been learning more about how God wants me to glorify Him, and how focusing on what will bring Him glory changes things.

1. Temptations and Spiritual Warfare

This past week, I brought a workshop at our regional teacher's conference based on my post about Getting God's Heart for Difficult People , and the week leading up to that workshop I experienced the most intense spiritual warfare I remember experiencing. Thankfully, I also experienced the difference dependence upon God makes in the battle against temptation, and the thought that continually came when Satan would throw something new at me was that the workshop was going to glorify God, and I needed to keep myself focused and my heart clean no matter what temptations I faced so that God could use me to glorify Him at the conference.

The focus on what will bring God glory gave me strength to battle temptations, because I know that God is not glorified by sin. Therefore, if I want my life to bring glory to God, I will fight against the temptation to sin with a firm resolve to use every ounce of grace God gives me in order to have the victory.

2.  Emotions and Attitudes

A major area of self-focus for me revolves around my emotions. Take today, for example. There were various difficulties throughout the day, but nothing harder than I had faced before. What made the day difficult was that I also was battling mental and physical fatigue that made me feel as if each new problem were three times as big as it was. On days like this, I have to make a constant, conscious effort not to let my emotions get the better of me. You see, God is glorified through a thankful heart. Luke 17 tells about when the ten lepers came to Jesus to be healed. He did heal them, but only one came back to thank Him. This is how Jesus describes the man's thankful attitude: "Were there not ten cleansed? but where are the nine? There are not found that returned to give glory to God save this stranger." (v.18) Jesus Himself said that the man's thankfulness gave glory to God.

Here's where this gets personal: a peevish or downcast attitude is really the fruit of an unthankful heart. As the popular saying goes, there's always something to be thankful for. In fact, we are commanded to be thankful for everything. Ephesians 5:20 puts it this way:

"Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ"


That's pretty all-encompassing, isn't it? That means I have the duty to be thankful for everything --including all the things I may feel I have the right to be grumpy about.

3.  Relationships

John 17 has been called Jesus' "High-Priestly Prayer". In it, He prays for His disciples as well as those who would be saved because of their witness (i.e., us!) In verses 22-23, He mentions how the glory of God affects our relationships.

"And the glory which Thou gavest Me I have given them; that they may be one, even as We are one: I in them, and Thou in Me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world will know that Thou hast sent Me, and hast loved them, as Thou hast loved Me." 

First of all, the glory of God is given that believers may be unified. That means that as we earnestly pursue Christlikeness, we will be in harmony one with another, as God the Father is in harmony with Christ, God the Son. That doesn't mean that others have to condone my sin, or that I have to condone the sin of others, because, as we have already mentioned, sin does not glorify God. We do, however, follow after holiness with the same humility that led Christ to put aside His "rights" as God and endure what was necessary to restore those who were trapped in sin. The same way, God calls us to lay aside our "rights" and be willing to "live peaceably with all men" as much as possible without condoning sin. (Romans 12:18)

Similarly, we are to humbly seek to share the truth of Christ's payment for sin with those who are lost. I appreciate the way Jude puts it: "And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh". A focus on glorifying God will change how we see the lost. We will see them as God sees them: prisoners of sin and death, heading for a fiery eternity, needing to be pulled from the flames before it's too late. We are to hate the sin that sends men to hell, seeking to keep ourselves unspotted, lest our hypocrisy becomes the stumblingblock that keeps a soul from accepting God's gift of salvation. If we are focused on God's glory, our lives will be marked by consistency between truth and action.

These are just a few of the areas of our lives that will be affected by a focus on the glory of God, but it is enough to cause me to take a long, hard look at myself and ask whether I am truly seeking to glorify God, or whether I am more motivated to seek my own glory by serving self.

So whose glory are you really seeking?

Choosing Rest in the Midst of Chaos

Have you ever had a week where you feel like you've fallen flat on your face spiritually?

The week before last, I had much to accomplish, and several definite deadlines to meet, as well as several extra projects that walked in --all on a week which I knew would end in a busier-than-usual weekend. I felt overwhelmed and got to the point where I was even having trouble processing new tasks and information. My to-do list was getting longer by the minute, and I couldn't even think through what needed to be done next!

Now, if you've read my post on When Life Gets Busy, you know that I knew exactly how to handle this busy season. I had all the spiritual tools I needed, and I had God Himself to help me meet the challenging week with grace and peace in calm efficiency, but did I?

Nope.

With every item added to my schedule I could feel the stress building up inside me, and although I knew how I should have handled it, I gave in and let myself feel hurried and frazzled as if it was all up to me to get everything done.

The old simile of a headless chicken seems very applicable...

Anyway, the whole week continued about the same way, and all the while the Holy Spirit was whispering an invitation to come and rest. -Not to ignore my responsibilities and give up, but to choose to rest on the inside while outwardly working to complete my necessary tasks.

You see, as much as we need physical rest (or maybe more!) we need to rest spiritually. Often, that means getting away by ourselves and taking the time with the Lord to reset ourselves, refreshing our spirits through God's Word and prayer.

However, we can't spend every minute in our prayer closets, and that is why we need to learn to rest in the Lord internally, no matter how chaotically life is swirling around us.

How can we do this? First of all, by remembering the truths of God's Word as they apply to our busy seasons. Psalm 119:165 says: "Great peace have they that love Thy Law and nothing shall offend them". God's Word can give us that extra motivation we need to get past that moment of reaction to a new stress. When another item was added to my list, I should have remembered that God's Word says that everything He allows in my life is for a purpose, and for my good.

That brings us to the second way we can choose rest: submission to the truths we know about God. Remembering that God means everything for my good isn't enough. In the swirling chaos of that busy week, I knew that God never makes mistakes and that He had a good purpose for the busy-ness He was allowing, but I chose not to submit to that truth. Submission to truth requires that I give up my "right" to feel that I am a victim, or that what God has allowed is somehow unfair or more than is reasonable. Submission to that truth also meant I could not congratulate myself on how well I was responding to the difficulties I was facing, or complain to others of how hard my week was.

Honestly, sometimes I just want to be grumpy, but that's not what God wants. Submission to God's truth is a surrender not just to the reality of that truth as it concerns God and His doings, but also to what that truth means about me and my attitude.

Isaiah 26:3 says:  "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee: because he trusteth in Thee"

The key to choosing internal rest is to remember and submit to the reality of who God is and what He expects from me in response to that which He has allowed for my good.

--A footnote for those who wonder if it really makes a difference: since that busy week, I have had another even busier, but this time I did choose to rest in the Lord, and not only was I at peace inside, I was able to stay on top of my tasks and finish everything on my list earlier than I would have thought possible!

God's way always works!

A Challenge to Millennials

Recently, someone pointed out to me that I am technically a millennial. I had a hard time understanding that, since I was born before the new millennium, but apparently I fall into the category of pre-millennial, or some such nonsense. Honestly, I have never much cared what my generation was called, because it really didn't matter. Being a pre-millennial or generation "Y" or anything else doesn't change who I am as a person, and besides which, my identity is to be found in Christ, not society's labels.

But all that aside, the practical side of me can see the use of naming generations so that you can more easily address them, and so to all the millennials out there, this post is for you.

Actually, I have noticed that this generation seems to be delighted with anything new: after all, we live in a world full of new technology, new scientific and archaeological discoveries, and new social outlets (i.e. social media). Millennials generally like to try new foods and experience new things, go new places and find new ways of doing things.

But this focus on novelty has a danger:

I read in an article some time back that stated that many millennials are rejecting their parent's antiques and family heirlooms in favor of new, modern furniture from stores like IKEA.  Wrapped up in the desire to surround themselves with the new and trendy, these young people are missing out on precious treasures --monetarily and sentimentally.

Maybe it's because I grew up surrounded by antiques and history, but that seems to me like a tragedy. Some of my most prized possessions are things that have been passed down to me from previous generations, and these items give me a way to connect with the past generations by serving as a tangible link to relatives who died long before I was born. (For example, the little hymnal from my ancestor who came across the Oregon Trail.) Some of these hand-me-down heirlooms might be from as recent a generation as my parents, but remind me of stories they or others have told; like the cherry-wood bookcase Daddy made for my Grandma in 7th grade, which was her prized possession for many years before it became mine.

But that's actually not my point. Just as some millennials reject their parent's heritage of physical belongings and miss out on something of value, many of my generation fall into the trap of rejecting their spiritual heritage, trying to make Christianity into something new, or else trying to live the Christian life in a new way. But is that Biblical?

I was struck by a passage today which in turn reminded me of another, and I thought I would share them. Both are from the period in Israel's history where their society had left its spiritual heritage and had become entrenched in idolatry. In the process of warning His people of their impending judgement and exile, God continually reached out to them, sending prophets to warn, but also to call to repentance and a promise of blessing to those who turned to the Lord.

It is in this context that we find Isaiah 58. In the first part of the chapter, God calls out the Israelites who had been claiming to worship Him, but who were doing it in their own way. They were still worshiping outwardly, but just for show. They had rejected the emphasis on holiness of previous generations and were living their lives how they pleased, all the while claiming God's promised blessing but for worship that was not based on a desire to please God.

God's response to these Israelites was to describe how He really wanted to be worshiped: not with the outward only, but with a wholehearted seeking after Him. Then comes a beautiful passage about how God promised to bless those who did turn to Him. Tucked among the descriptions of blessing is verse 12:

"And they that shall be of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations: and thou shalt be called, The repairers of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in."

 Those who returned to seeking the Lord from their hearts would not be identified with doing new things or worshiping in a new way, but rather in repairing and restoring the old foundations, walls, and pathways.  This verse always reminds me of Jeremiah 6:16, which says,

"Thus saith the Lord, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls..."

Isn't that beautiful? And yet, it is so easy to get caught up in the busyness and excitement of the "new" to the neglect of the "old paths" that bring "rest for your souls".

The heartbreaking thing about this verse is that it doesn't end there. At the end of the Lord's declaration of how to find rest are the sad words: "But they said, We will not walk therein".

As a whole, Israel had become very wicked. In fact, Jeremiah 6 describes them as being unashamed and even unable to blush for shame. --Sounds like our society, doesn't it? But the way out isn't in finding new ways to do things, or rethinking how we worship God: The way out is really just to turn around, look for the old paths, and return to how God designed Christianity to be: a reflection of Christ to the wicked world around us.

So, for the millennials reading this, or for readers of any generation, my challenge to you is simple:

"ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls"

What's the Bible All About?

Today on my way home, I was listening to a podcast, and I was struck by a statement the speaker made. She pointed out that the Bible isn't actually about us, but about God.

She pointed out that we all too often go to God's Word looking for what it says about me, when our primary purpose should be to discover what it says about God.

You know when someone puts into words something you knew deep down, but hadn't ever verbalized?

Well, a couple years ago, I was in a dry spell spiritually. I was reading my Bible, and was even praying some, but it seemed as if my soul was numb and my heart asleep. I just couldn't get anything out of my reading, and even my favorite go-to passages didn't give me that "just read my Bible" feeling.

I knew it couldn't be a problem with God --after all, He is omnipresent and unchanging. I also knew that the answer wasn't to stop reading. I had listened to enough sermons to know that when I don't feel like reading, that is the time to read the most.

But just reading -even reading more- wasn't getting me anywhere.

I wanted to enjoy my Bible reading, and I wanted it to bring me back to that closeness I had with God, but somehow lost somewhere along the line. But how?

I finally decided to actively seek to learn what God was like. Around that time, I took a Bible doctrines class as one of my college classes, and when that was done, lo and behold, my Sunday school teacher began a series on the attributes of God. As I learned more about God's attributes and the implications of Who God really is, I began reading with an eye to what each passage said about God. I even did a study on the first time each name of God was used, and why that particular name was significant. My understanding of Who God was and how His character influenced His actions broadened my faith and helped me to internalize the importance of godly character.

But I'll be honest: the feeling I was looking for didn't return with any consistency until I began spending time in prayer before my Bible reading each day, asking God to quicken His Word and guide me into all truth. -After all, the Holy Spirit is really the key to understanding and internalizing Scripture.

But that year or so of reading and studying out of "duty" was not wasted. I have heard several speakers lately mention that Bible reading is like making deposits in a bank. Even when it seems dry, you're still building up your knowledge so that when the challenges come, you know where to turn.

For example, when I was having a particularly rough day this week, God reminded me of Romans 8:28, and I was able to remember that even that rough day was meant by God for my good and His glory. That changed my focus from self-pity to gratitude and a desire to look for what God was going to bring out of the day.

That's the amazing gift of the Holy Spirit: He is always there to bring comfort and help and conviction as needed --primarily by reminding us of what the Word of God says. The more we know, the more we can be reminded of, and the more we can focus on bringing glory to God through whatever circumstances we find ourselves in.

So, dear reader, if you're in a dry spell -keep at it! Remember that emotions are fleeting, and even when you feel that God is silent and distant, the reality of His presence and loving involvement in your life is never going to change. -And resolve to begin afresh to truly seek to know God through His Word, in prayerful dependence on His Spirit to lead the way.

"And ye shall seek Me, and find Me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart, And I will be found of you, saith the Lord..."

Jeremiah 29:13-14a