Finding Freedom in Christlike Adornings

When I was young, my parents, as most parents do, gave us some guidelines for how they expected their children to dress. This was almost unnecessary while we were young, but as I grew old enough to begin choosing or buying clothing for myself, I found myself more and more dissatisfied with the boundaries my parents had laid down.

You see, at the church we were attending at the time, my parents were (or so it seemed to me) the only ones who had guidelines as strict as ours concerning clothes. The other children my age seemed to dress in the latest fashion, according to whatever was in style. They embraced wholeheartedly the trends my parents disallowed. --Trends which were, in hindsight, not only grossly immodest but also quite ridiculous.

But the concerns over modesty and propriety did not matter to me. All I wanted was to look like -to be like- everyone else.

It finally got to the point where every day brought a fresh argument about some article of clothing I wanted to wear, and with every argument my heart grew harder and more bitter towards my parents for the restrictions they were attempting to enforce.

But then, something changed.

It wasn't that the guidelines changed, or that my longing to fit in went away overnight. What changed was that I began to spend time around a dear lady whose dress characterized modesty and propriety and whose heart was so obviously content and secure in who she was in Christ that she didn't even think to care if her clothing was different from what others wore.

And that was the real issue. As I learned more and more about who I was before God, and about finding my identity in Christ, I began not only to understand the restrictions my parents placed upon me, but also to appreciate and embrace them. And as I embraced them, I grew to find great freedom in being guided, not by the changeable and insatiable demands of society, but by the principles of God's Word and the truths of who I am in Christ.

You see, I had spent so many years chasing after the prize of being like "everyone else", that I had missed what God was wanting to teach me through the very guidelines I had thought were holding me back. There is a great freedom in wholesomeness and femininity -a freedom that comes of resting in the approval of my Heavenly Father.

Now, instead of trying to conform to an ever-changing standard in search of approval I could never fully gain, I rest in the unconditional, abundant, and satisfying love of God, and seek instead to have my external appearance reflect the inward adorning of a meek and quiet heart. (Ephesians 3:3-4)

And that’s what it’s all about: the heart. But the external is a reflection of the internal. In that way, how I dress is just as important as how I act or speak or even think. I’m not perfect, but my goal is to dress in a way that reflects Christlikeness, not a heart craving the empty accolades or attention of the world. I don’t need any of the world’s praise or love or approval, because I am secure in Christ’s love for me, and a hungry world should look at me and instantly recognize a soul satisfied with the abundance of God.

Principal Protested for Enforcing Dress Code

I saw a news story today about a school where students were protesting what was billed as a "new addition to their dress code" The principal of Niel Armstrong Middle School in Forest Grove, OR has come under attack for banning leggings. 20 to 25 students wore the banned leggings to school today in protest. According to a local news report, some students and parents are upset about the "impractical" and "ridiculous" ban.

Several facts which are not emphisized in this news story are:

• The school's dress code already bans immodest clothing and clothing that "disrupts the educational process." Thus, the principal was not instituting a new policy, just enforcing an old one.
• The leggings in question are in fact immodest and revealing (just look at the footage in the news video --or better yet, don't look!) They were distracting students and teachers, disrupting the educational process and thus violating the school's existing dress code.
• School dress code policies are within the normal jurisdiction of the school. Students should not be championed for deciding to purposely and blatantly violate a ban that is within the normal scope of the school's existing dress code. Protests are not praiseworthy because they are protests. There must be a just cause for a protest to be honorable.

In truth, what is ridiculous are the arguments cited against the ban:

"I don't see anything wrong with them" Since when have teenagers been the best judges of what is or is not appropriate? That is exactly why schools have dress codes. There will always be those, such as the student quoted above, who do not see anything wrong with the things prohibited by a school's dress code. Proverbs says "Foolishness is bound up in a child" -and despite what they might think, teenagers are still foolish children in many respects. (Before you get too upset with that last remark, remember that I was a teenager not very long ago, and remember how foolish I and my friends have been.)

"I have a hurt foot and it's hard to put jeans over it." This same student's mother also chimed in: "It's impossible to find something they can wear." Since when have leggings been the only option for ladies' clothing? It is far easier to wear a dress with a hurt leg than leggings! Also, the ban only applies to leggings without a dress or top that covers between the hip and the thigh.

Another student was quoted in one news video stating: "The guys are going to stare anyway. If you can't stop them, what's the use?" Yes, some men will "stare", but why encourage them? . Women ought to dress in a way that protects them from the eyes of ungodly men, instead of inviting improper attention.

One comment I read on this story accuses the principal of being a pedophile because he speaks of teachers being distracted. One of men's greatest weaknesses is their thought life. We should encouraging those who are trying to fight their sin nature in this area, instead of attacking them! Additionally, it is the duty of a principal to protect the students in the care of his school from distracting influences.

The following are quotes from Principal Hundley about this decision:

"We are trying to make it clear. It's a place of academics and immodest attire can get in the way of that, "

"We are simply saying this is a school. The expectation is that you come here like you're coming to work."

The purpose of school is learning. Students (and their parents) should applaud this principal for upholding the dress code, thus insuring a better learning environment for each student.

Gentling Influences: Part 1

My brother will often have me accompany him to social events for which I have no other reason for going than the fact that my brother will be there. Usually he has a reason for bringing me, sometimes because he wants me to be friends with his friends, but more often because my presence with him would prevent some sort of awkwardness from occurring. The other day was just such an occasion, and I went with him to have dinner at his friends’ house. If it weren’t for my brother, I would not have gone that night, and as it was, I spent the evening trying not to look as uncomfortable as I felt. On the way home, I told Tris that if I had known how superfluous I was going to be, I would not have gone. Tris answered and said that he was glad I was there, because my very presence had a “gentling influence” on the conversation, keeping it from turning in directions it ought not to go. Suddenly, I was very glad I had gone.

That got me to thinking, though. How does one accomplish such a thing? It seems to me that there are several factors that make one a gentling influence, the first of which is the matter of dress. Do I look gentle? --I certainly don’t mean that we ought to be merely ornamental, or to seek to seem weak and fragile, but there is a gentling effect that comes from the presence of a modest, feminine girl or lady.

One time as I was on the bus, a man across from me began a conversation with the heavily-tattooed man in the next seat. As their conversation progressed, it became apparent that the tatooed man had a rather entertaining way of phrasing things, and was very friendly. Before long, he had most of the passengers listening to a description of the tattooing process. In the course of the conversation, this colorful man used some colorful language. I continued to stare out my window, (very carefully giving no indication that I had even heard him swear) and he kept on with his story. When we came to his stop, he stood and began to say goodbye to all his new friends. On the way out of the bus, he stopped in front of me and said, “Sorry about the swearing.”

There were many other women on the bus, and even a few children, but he only apologized to me. I believe it was because I was (sadly) the only wholesomely and femininely dressed woman on the bus. The presence of a lady who looked like a lady had enough of a gentling influence on this man to make him think twice about the language he used in front of me –enough to make him apologize.

The way women dress has a definite effect on the way they are treated. I know this from personal experience, because I used to dress in a very different way than I do now. –But that’s another post for another day. The point is, if I don’t look like a lady, I can’t expect to be treated like one, and thus am not likely to be the gentling influence God created me to be.