Only by Pride

Every once in a while I have a day where it seems the world is out to get me. I know, of course, that this is not true, but it seems that way nevertheless. (Ever notice how one’s feelings can so easily fail to correspond with reality?)

On those days, whether it is friction with family, disappointment with other drivers in traffic, or a classful of students who seem bound and determined to make their day (and mine) as unpleasant as possible, by the end of the day it can feel like there is conflict all around me.

The reality usually is that there are only one or two people actually being difficult, and the rest is all the result of my grumpy attitude’s skewed perception.

Of course, God knows all about us, and has anticipated the contention we so commonly experience in life. Instead of turning outward in selfish anger from a bitter, grudging view of how everyone else is to blame, God directs us toward ourselves:

“Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom” Proverbs 13:10

So there it is: the only source of contention is pride. I therefore have the responsibility to meet contention with humility. It is very rare that I have experienced contention in which my own pride has had no part. There is almost always something I can humble myself and ask forgiveness for in any situation of contention.

Taking a situation from the perspective of humility not only helps us to avoid contention (if we can be humble in the first place, contention won’t have a chance to appear), it also helps with the resolution of contention.

When you’re holding onto a grudge or a grumpy attitude there’s nothing that takes the wind out of your sails faster than having someone come in humility and apologize for something you were partially responsible for. Like I said, it’s usually not hard to find something I could have done better in a given situation. Being the first to ask forgiveness is hard, (what an understatement!) but it goes a long, long way towards mending the rift caused by contention. I Peter 5:5 says we should be “clothed with humility”, which is crucial, for as it goes on to state, “God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble”.

If we hold on to that feeling of the world being against us, we are in reality refusing the grace God offers for every situation in our lives. –Perhaps it feels like the world is against us because we are pridefully holding on to our “rights” and God is –faithful to His Word—resisting us.

When we respond in humility, however, we open up the floodgates, as it were, for God’s grace to work. We are in agreement with God’s perspective of us as we really are in His sight, and we can more readily see others in the light of that reality as well. Instead of focusing on their faults, we see our own, and are reminded that we are sinners in need of a Savior, just like anyone else.

Humility will also prompt obedience, whether restitution or asking forgiveness, or simply praying for the person with whom the contention was happening. Whatever action the Holy Spirit prompts, pride will balk at it, but humility will embrace it.
So, next time you’re tempted to grumble about the people God puts in your life, remember that you are a sinner saved by grace, and accept God’s grace in humility.